I want to apologize for taking so long in posting Part 2 to the What I Wish I knew 25 yrs Ago When I got Married. If you haven't already, You can read Part 1 Hear. Life took over at The Herrera household and 3 of us got very sick. We are out of the woods and I'm slowly trying to get back into the swing of things. August is full of college paper work and deadlines but I am determined to finish this series!
On July 28th 2015 My husband and I celebrated 25 years of Marriage and I can't tell you how amazing it felt! We decided to exchange new wedding rings and to kind of recite our wedding vows. 25 years ago we did not know what we were getting in to! My husband says that that's the way it's suppose to be. 25 years later repeating those weddings vows with stories that came along with them had a totally different meaning. We laughed, surprisingly enough, I didn't cry and we enjoyed a great evening. My husband said it meant a lot to him that we did that, just the two of this time.
Here are some photos from that night. I hope you enjoy getting to know me and my husband. Here is the second and last part of the Marriage series. Blessings!
THE PHOTOS THAT WERE HERE HAVE BEEN DELETED. BECAUSE OF THOSE ISSUES I HAD TO MIGRATE TO A NEW BLOG AND TRANSFER ALL OF MY DATA BUT MANY OF THE PHOTOS WERE LOST.
These are our new rings. So blessed by my husband. My husband has been asking for this Tuscan ring for quite a while. I don't think this picture does it justice, since it's kind of dark.
Our nice attendant gave us this dessert when he found out we were celebrating our 25th. Anniversary. One thing I realized every time we shared how long we had been married with strangers was that they were surprised. The reply we kept getting was, "Wow, that's an accomplishment!" All we kept replying was, "Only by the grace of God!"
25 years together (and they said we wouldn't make it) I don't blame them though, I was a wild child back then and look...you've made an honest women out of me, Hahahah! I love how you look at me and how you tell me you love me EVERY DAY! I love how you make me a priority in our lives. We've always said that we started as two and we will end as two. Even when our kids came along, we made sure our weekly dates stayed the same...even if they had to come along. Life hasn't always been easy, but I'm glad it has been with you. I'm so blessed to be known as Mrs. Herrera Mom. I'm blessed to be yours. I'm blessed you are mine. I can't wait to spend the best days of our lives for the next 25 years. I love you Alex. You will always and forever be #myforeverboyfriend #25yearanniversary #loveconquersall #chooseloveeveryday[/caption]
Here we are 25 years later! This was my Instagram post.
Now back to "What I wish I knew 25 years ago"
4. The Internet
25 years ago we didn't have to deal with the internet and social media the way we do today. This can be a blessing because we get to stay in touch with our friends and family from around the world but it can also be one of the biggest temptations all couples young and old face today. I personally know of marriages that have been destroyed because a spouse has found their long lost "high school sweetheart" on Facebook and has realized that he or she is no longer in love with his wife or husband and has left her/his and the kids to be with this other woman/man. I am making it as real as possible to show you the dangers of getting in touch with your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend on these social sites thinking it's no big deal because you are happily married. "Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” (Matthew 26:41) Ladies, all the devil needs is a tiny bit of an open door. We may think we are strong but the flesh is weak. Let's not leave room at all for any temptation or misunderstanding with our husband. If you do have an old high school friend on Social Media make sure that if they communicate with you they do it publicly on your profile for everyone to see. I don't see any need for an ex to be sending private messages. If they do, show them to your husband. If we have nothing to hide, we shouldn't have any issues showing them to our husband. The devil is the god of the secret, why do you think that is? We must protect our marriages at all cost!
FB Page Andie T: Stay off all social media for the first year of marriage. You don't need satan to manipulate you into thinking you don't have all that you need.
5. It's not My Husband's duty to make me Happy
Wow! That was quite the eye opener for me. I seriously couldn't believe it! I thought it was my husband's duty to make me happy! How dare he not make me happy? For years I made myself miserable and it meant that my dear husband was too. Think about it, putting the burden of your happiness in another human being? Another sinner, imperfect, trying to figure life out human being in charge of your happiness....let that sink in for a moment....Yeah, that's when the light bulb moment happened to me too. You see as human beings there are different things that make us happy right? Today is one thing, tomorrow is another and on and on. So when I put another human being in charge of my happiness and he can't deliver what happens? I want to change him for another that might be able to deliver! Be careful!!! Marriage is not about my happiness and it's impossible for my husband to carry the burden about my happiness. Marriage is about honoring God and seeking His will and mutual respect and love. We find our JOY in serving each other. "But may the righteous be glad and rejoice before God; may they be happy and joyful." (Psalms 68:3)
6. Divorce is NOT AN OPTION
The Bible also tells us this “For I hate divorce!” says the Lord, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.”(Malachi 2:16) God hates divorce and warns us to not be unfaithful! I have personally never experience adultery but, I know that when I had the mind set that divorce was an option my marriage was not working. Every time my husband and I had issues I saw the big EXIT sign with big red letters flashing, telling me to run. That is the worse thing I could have done! I was killing my marriage little by little and I didn't even know it! One day I made the decision that this was no longer going to be an option and it had to stop. I made a commitment not only to my husband but to The Lord and it was until death do us apart. The Lord knew that day 25 years ago everything we were going to live, the good, the bad and the ugly! All that is to come, God knows it. There is no Plan B! I have seen marriages that have been saved by the grace of God because of the commitment they made to each other and to God and in spite of the pain of adultery, addictions and other problems in marriage, these marriages with help and serious counseling have been fully restored. Your marriage doesn't have to end in divorce even when adultery has been involved (I do have to say that I'm no advocating for woman to take abuse or serial cheaters, but that when a man has truly repented there is hope for restoration in a marriage). The Bible also tells us "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32) Stop making divorce an option!
7. Dirty Laundry Anyone?
As women we love talking to our friends about all that is going on in our lives and many times we fall into the "complaining/dirty laundry mode". Don't don't tell me you don't do it. This is something I use to do all the time when I was younger and I didn't realize that at times I was making my husband look bad. As wives we have the responsibility of covering our husbands, on keeping their privacy...private. If you feel there is something that is hurting your marriage or you have an issue that needs to be dealt with go to your pastor or a mentoring couple that will give you good biblical advice. If it is venting you need, go to your husband, not to your friend. Not too long ago I found myself complaining about something dumb and oh my goodness I didn't realize it until I was done! I felt terrible about it. It was with a very close friend and I knew she was not going to judge my husband because she knows him well and she knew I was under a lot of stress but that didn't justify my fault in the matter. It wasn't anything big and what I said turned out to be kind of funny, but still! I'm a big advocate on friendships for women. I believe that as women we need those connections. God has put those needs in us for a reason, but we also have to be careful that these friendships don't take the place that only our husband is to have in our lives and that the relationship I have with my husband stays protected and private...always! Too much talk leads to sin.
"When words are many, transgression is not lacking,
but whoever restrains his lips is prudent". (Proverbs 10:19)
25 years later all I can say is, I'm still learning and I still make mistakes. Don't be so hard on yourself and don't think you know it all, because I guarantee you, you don't! If you are blessed enough to have older woman around you, ask them how they did it. Believe me, we are more than happy to share with you, what we know and what we are still learning. If you have any questions, please leave me a comment. You don't need to be subscribed to my blog to leave a comment.
